I Am Not a Good Person

It's true. And I don't just say that to get a bunch of people to say, "Oh, come on! Of course you are a good person!" I'm not. I do good things, nice things, funny things, helpful things, caring things and even, on occasion, loving things. But I am not a good person. If I were to guess, I'd say I do about 90% of all these good things because I'm lazy. Sometimes I do the good because I'm afraid of something or because I keep hoping that eventually I'll be a good person, but mostly, I'm just lazy. It's never that I am actually Good.

I'm pretty honest. But honestly, that's just because I'm lazy. It's too much work to lie in the first place. It has to be plausible, and you have to tell it with conviction. Once you've sold it, then you have to keep it up. You have to keep track of what you said to whom; you have to be constantly on your guard. Ugh. That's a lot of work. I've also watched enough sitcoms in my life to know that it always ends badly and then there's the work of cleaning up the mess. See, being honest is the easy way out.

Laziness makes me a better parent too. It keeps me from being the sort who hovers; the kind who stays up all night glueing, sewing and nailing the Blue Ribbon Project together. It keeps me from signing my kids up for nine thousand activities. It keeps me from hanging around the soccer field to watch even every practice. Actually, the more I write, the more I realize I might not just be lazy, but selfish too.

I look like I'm a pretty helpful friend. Watch your kid? Sure! Pick up milk for you at the store? Anytime! Bake some food for PT conferences? No problem! But actually, it's all because I know darn well that I'll need someone to watch my kids eventually and pick up some milk for me and I dread the teachers feeling overwhelmed and quitting so I figure we should keep them well fed. See? Selfish.

Here's the point in the blog post where I should be making some witty or wise observation then that extends beyond the story or bits of story that I've just shared. Perhaps there is something spiritual or theological here, but I'd rather not go there. It's too much work and I'm in need of a little "Me time."