Grace

I may be preaching to the choir here, but just in case.....

As a friend of mine was busy painting in the basement of a house that is not hers, the woman working alongside her commented, "I can't believe Habitat is building this house for someone who is not an American citizen!"

"Why do you think she's not a citizen?" My friend asked.

"Well, she doesn't speak English," was the clear explanation.

"I don't think you have to be able to speak English to be a citizen," countered my friend, and the argument then turned into whether or not English is required for citizenship. (Actually I think it is, because the test is in English.)

As my angry friend recounted the tale, (Which I may have not gotten EXACTLY right.) it occurred to both of us that that shouldn't haven't been the argument at all! Who cares if this lady is a US citizen? She needs a house. Her two daughters need a house. Her two daughters, who, my husband pointed out later, are probably US citizens!

Where does this idea come from that some people deserve help and some don't? How is it that the only people who should be helped are those who are in trouble through absolutely no fault of their own? Are there really any such people anyhow? How do some members of the human race "deserve" to be served crap and some don't? That makes NO SENSE!

Now, to really up my friend's anger, this woman with the twisted notions goes to our church where we hear every Sunday that God cares for the poor and the oppressed. That God's grace is for everyone. Does she really think that she deserves God's grace more than this single mom who may or may not be a US citizen? What we want to know is how a fellow Christian can so let us down.

Let's be clear. My friend and I have both done dumb and wrong things in our lives, even things that we knew to be wrong as we were doing them. For reasons that escape us, we have not had to pay the price for those sins in any costly way. It doesn't seem right to us that we should get to judge whether or not anyone deserves our help.

I try really hard to follow what Jesus taught when he was here, and the people that he helped were prostitutes, adulterers, cheats, and the like. I guess if God's grace through Jesus covers all of them, it ought to cover anybody that I come across who needs help as well.

Heaven

Ah... I've just been to a little slice of heaven that I like to call The Scholastic Warehouse Sale. Fortunately for me, I went with only 40 minutes until closing. I just couldn't stop getting books. I easily bought twice as many as I need to cover the Christmas gifts on my list. I justified it by saying that they are for my classroom. My job share partner is going to be forced to bail on me some day soon and I'd better get some books.

Also on this very day I got a fat package of books that I had ordered from Abby's book order at school. What a beautiful day.

I bought several books that I had previously read on loan- The Lightning Thief, So B. It, Peter and the Star Catchers, but I also found some that I hadn't read, Olivia Helps with Christmas, Olive My Love (I believe that would be Olive from Olive the Other Reindeer), and Today I Will Fly (by Mo Willems, the Pigeon guy). I bought one book that is really just for me, Bound, by Donna Jo Napoli. If it turns out to be appropriate I'll put it in my classroom. It's about a Chinese girl in a VERY traditional family. It's historical fiction, which I love.

While I'm on the subject of books.... If you like science fiction/adventure, and you also like books that don't take a lot of effort, JD would like to recommend James Patterson's Maximum Ride trilogy. It's about kids who were experimented on so that they became human/avian hybrids and now they've escaped the lab and are on the run. We've both read the first two books in the trilogy.

And! Good news! Inkdeath, the final- or it at least it darn well better be- installment of Cornelia Funke's Inkheart trilogy is already out! Of course, it's in German. The English versions won't be out until next year, but hey, next year is only weeks away.

I love books. Have I mentioned that before?

No, Freakin' Way!

It's not just me! People's misuse of quotation marks in print and in the air drives me crazy! It's right up there with using adjectives and adverbs and neglecting noun/verb agreement. (Feel free to use ain't and ya'll as much as you like. I'm immune to those two.) Now, I've discovered, thanks to my friend Jo, that there is a whole blog devoted to the subject! It's so "freakin" awesome! And, it gets better; on that blog is a link to a blog devoted to bathroom graffiti! Seriously, does it get better than that? Below is the link to the quotation site.

Quotation Marks

Childlike

My friend Lara, the reading teacher, put me on to an interview with Philip Pullman, The Golden Compass, that was in the New Yorker, or some other magazine. This was actually three or four years ago. In his interview Mr. Pullman was taking issue with the value that people put on childlikeness. He felt that it devalued growing up, which is a good and essential thing. At first I disagreed with him partly because it was C.S. Lewis that he was particularly taking issue with. I also didn't think that lined up very well with Jesus' teaching that one must become like a child to enter the kingdom of God.

Then, over Thanksgiving I was talking with Josh about a similar topic. He mentioned that there's a difference between innocence and purity. Trying to retain one's innocence is impossible in this life. Moving through that loss of innocence and finding a new purity of soul is a great achievement and can only be achieved by grownups. Huh. I hadn't ever thought of that before. So, I spent some time thinking about it.

Now I think that that's probably true. I think Jesus would agree. I don't think he was necessarily saying "Don't grow up. Stay childlike in all ways." Maybe he was valuing the way children are so teachable. Maybe Jesus was valuing how much more unconditionally children love, compared to adults. I don't know for sure, but I don't think that Jesus was saying that your faith has to be unquestioned and unwavering like a child's might be. A faith that has been tested and wrestled with seems a lot stronger. A grownup's faith.

I'm not sure that I'm done thinking about this. More later.

Advent

Yesterday, not October 25 or when ever stores started to put out Christmas items, was the first Sunday of Advent. This is a big deal if you celebrate Christmas as the day of Christ's birth. If you don't celebrate that, then perhaps you're not that interested in Advent and I wish you happing shopping and all of that.

However, if you're looking to see some more Holy in the Holiday, here's a link to Mars Hill's Advent walk.
(Thanks Ginger for the good suggestion.) In addition you might want to listen to the Sunday teachings from Mars Hill for the Advent season. Chris Seay from Houston was last week's teacher, Rob Bell will be teaching the next two weeks and the last week will be a man named Dwight Pryor. Dwight is the founder of the Center for Judaic-Christian Studies. If this past week's message was any indication, prepare to do some rethinking of your Christmas celebrations. You can find these teachings both on itunes or at the Mars Hill
website.

I know that I've struggled mightily in the last year or more to be holy, to see holiness, to love holiness. Whether Jesus was actually born in December or not, a season commemorating the way he came to us, the beginning of his incarnation, seems like a good time to pray for and seek out new life in my own soul.

The Golden Compass

I'm not sure exactly how I feel about this Golden Compass controversy, but maybe if I hash it out here on the blog I'll get somewhere.

I read all three books. I read the first one before it was even published in the US. It was called Northern Lights in England. I really liked it. It was intriguing, thought provoking, a good yarn as well. Much later I read the next two books. The second and third books were also good but I didn't like them as well and I HATED the ending of the third book. I didn't like them as well because there were things in them that made me sad and some things that made me uncomfortable.

What people are saying about Philip Pullman's atheist views is absolutely true. That is what he believes and he doesn't try to hide it. That's the stuff that made me sad. I wasn't angry with any of it because even though it was clear that the author is doesn't believe in God and is against the Church, the things that he said made me think about where he was coming from. I know it's hard to believe that a man who wants to fight and even kill God isn't being offensive, but it really wasn't like that. It was just sad. Not pathetic sad, broken sad. It made me long for things for Philip Pullman that he certainly doesn't long for for himself.

I also thought he had some things to say to the church that need to be heard. He has an outsider’s point of view that is much more revealing than any insiders point of view. As painful as some of those things may be, they still need to be heard.

What I hated about the ending had nothing to do with God. I thought the ending was a cop out. He had spent 1500 pages or so building this amazing world and putting forth such innovative theories and philosophies and then he wraps it all up with the most trite and clichéd ending ever written. I was bitter for a long time about it. Besides it was weird.

Should kids read the books? I guess it depends on what you mean by, "kid." That's a pretty broad term really. My son is nine and I think he should wait. Wait for what though, I don't know. I don't really know any kids with strong faith that have read the books, so I don't know if it caused them to struggle with their faith or not. And is it bad for kids to struggle with their faith? Isn't that how it becomes their own? If Christianity is true and a kid had been taught that truth and has lived with that truth, can a story really take that away? On the other hand, kids walk away from the faith they were raised with every day. They walk away for all kinds of reasons, so I guess a book could be a reason. The only two kids I know who read it didn't pay much attention to the religious issues brought up in the books. They just liked the story and the science in it.

I guess my bottom line, after all this typing, is that parents should wrestle with the story and the ideas for themselves and then decide if their kids should read the books. I don't think that they should let emails or religious groups do their thinking for them. I guess it's no surprise that I came to on this subject. I nearly always conclude that people should do their own wrestling and not be afraid.

Movie Rave/Friend Rave

While Ginger and I Love, LOVE, the Kyra Knightly/Matthew Macfadyen Pride and Prejudice, we decided to try something different last night. Ging has been wanting to see the first Cate Blanchett Elizabeth movie, so that was the pick. Great movie. Cate Blanchett is AMAZING. I already loved her, but it's still nice to know that you have such good taste.

Anyway, we had the most interesting movie EXPERIENCE of our recent history. The movie was so intriguing that before we were far into it we had to stop and google all the historical characters. Then as the movie ran we had to keep stopping it and filling in the history knowledge gaps for each other. To top it all off, when we were through we went back and googled everyone we hadn't googled the first time. We were so into it that we didn’t' even realize it was 12:30- way past two "old" ladies bed times.

So, here's my recommendation: 1. See Elizabeth, starring Cate Blanchett, 2. Watch it with someone who loves history and wants to learn knew things AND doesn't mind if there's talking through the whole darn thing :-) 3. Go google baby!

What's Up?

It might just be me, it seems we have a bit of an inconsistency in our societal rules about sex.

I started thinking about this because as a fifth grade teacher I'm always telling the girls not to waste their time on boys; they have more important things to pursue in life. Multiple people have told me that I'm wasting my breath. I've also been told that the only way to keep my own girls from getting pregnant before they're married is to teach them about birth control. I'm not against teaching them that. Nor do I think that all the girls I teach will heed my advice about boys, but these two responses have gotten me thinking.

There seems to be an expectation that all people will engage in sexual activity when they are not married and that seems to fine. At the very least it is impossible to expect people not to do so. On the other hand there seems to be agreement that once you are married you're expected to only have sex with that person. To do so with anyone else is considered wrong.

I don't get it. Why is it reasonable to expect people to have self-control in one situation and not in the other? Is it because in the married situation the people have a release for their sexual urges? Does that, then, make it ok for married people who are apart for a length of time to have sex with someone not their spouse, or do they still have to maintain self-control?

Like I said, something just doesn't add up for me here.

One of those Newsweek "My Turn" Articles I've Been Wanting to Write

Poor Thanksgiving, that forgotten holiday lost between the better-dressed holidays of Halloween and Christmas...

Ok, I'm done with that lament. I actually have something to say about Christmas.

A week or so ago I was reading On the Banks of Plum Creek, by Laura Ingalls Wilder, with Rachel. We were reading about Christmas. Laura and Mary wanted to give something very special to Baby Carrie (now a toddler) that year. Ma offered them all of her buttons to choose from so that they could make a button string for Carrie. Ma's button collection was made up of buttons that she had been saving since she was a little girl and even buttons that her mother had saved as a little girl. (That part right there is enough to get me going on materialism and short attention spans of today.) Laura and Mary looked on them as vast and incredible treasure. Every day while Carrie napped the girls tried out different buttons in different combinations and different arrangements. On and off went those buttons until it was the day before Christmas. When Carrie found the button string in her stocking the next day she was wild with joy.

Seriously. Can you imagine being wild with joy over a button string? I've read other stories of Laura's life in which she and Mary got oranges for Christmas and considered it a precious and exotic gift.

Perhaps it's crossed your mind that the Christmas we celebrate is too commercial, too expensive, too over the top. It's crossed mine; I won't lie. But I've been thinking that maybe the fault doesn't lie with Christmas. Perhaps the problem is with the rest of the year. If you, or your child, wants/needs a new dress, do you wait for it to be Christmas to go get it? Nope. You just go and get it. If you want a new game even you just go out and get it. It is really Christmas all year long. New socks? Get a package of six. New CD? Download it in your itunes in about 5 minutes.

See what I'm saying? Christmas almost HAS to be crazy with stuff you don't need just to seem like it's something special. To Laura and Mary life was made up of so much more than stuff during the rest of the year that an orange really was exotic. It is kind of funny that people get all worked up about the materialism of Christmas, but don't notice that that's pretty much how it always is around here.

Maybe we should shed some stuff in March and September and build meaning in our lives with something other than "stuff" in February and October. I bet Christmas would become more holy without even trying.

Shout Out, sort of, To My Friend Lara

In some ways this is my third part to my high school rant. Of the comments that I got on my two previous posts, Lara's was the most sympathetic to the study and the numbers that they showed. "Interesting," I thought. Then I thought about it some more. I can see why she would be harder on the schools than other people. In her job she has to try and convince teachers to try new things. Sometimes that goes really well and the teacher is enthusiastic and takes the suggestions and runs with them. Sometimes it doesn't go so well. They want to do what they've always done and are completely convinced that the entire fault of the not learning lies with the kid. Having seen the results of listening or not listening to the practices that Lara tries to teach teachers to use, I'd say she's got some ground to stand on in blaming the schools for negligence.

On the other side, I've sat an MANY parent teacher conferences and said, "Listen, you need to make sure your kid does her reading homework every night. She is way behind and even though I'm doin' all I can for her at school, she needs to practice on her own." After I make this speech one of three things happens. Sometimes the parent totally gets it and cracks the whip and homework magic happens. More likely I get one of these two responses. "Yep, yep. We'll get right on it," and absolutely nothing changes, or "We don't have time for homework because we have sports, church, family things, whatever." That’s the kind of thing that makes me want to tear my hair out!

I know; there are two sides to every story. All I'm sayin' is let's share the blame. I don’t expect one person or group to just up and shoulder the burden alone. No one group of people caused the problem. Parents send kids to school with a lot of baggage and expect the school to do all the work. Schools get overwhelmed, some would say lazy, and don't even bother to do what they can do.

I guess we're not even on the same side, the side of the kid. It's like I said at the end of my last rant, we could get messed up in blaming and never move on to solving. But other than what I do with my fifth graders and my own kids at home, I really don't know how to help. I really want to, but what can I do?

Which leads me to rant 4, super teacher movies, but that's for another day.

Rant Part 2

I've decided I'm not done ranting about the "dropout factory" schools. I have two more beefs- for now.

I once read that there is a correlation (I know, that doesn't mean causation) between the size of a kid's vocabulary when he/she enters Kindergarten and his or her success in high school. Did you notice that I said "ENTERS" kindergarten? Who was in charge of building that vocabulary, hmm?

I'm also mad about the reporting on this study. On our local news' website the area Superintendent was given the chance to air his dissenting view. He says that the State of MI numbers show much higher rates of graduation. The story went on to focus on the fact that the state does not count students who are in jail as being dropouts because there are education programs for them while they are incarcerated. This was the only portion of the discrepancy between the State of Michigan numbers and the Johns Hopkins numbers. It made it seem as though some 75% (the percentage that Johns Hopkins has dropping out) of this area's students are in jail! That's just irresponsible reporting. What the heck high school did those reporters graduate from anyway?

I realize there's a huge danger in, on both sides of this fight, placing blame anywhere. We can get so caught up in trying to win the debate about who's fault this is that we have no energy left to do something about the problem. So, if we all acknowlege that we have some work to do an then get busy and do it, we might get somewhere.

I once heard a brillant man say that we should pick up our cross daily and follow him. The shame of kids not graduating from high school is on all of us, on all of our crosses. Are we preachin' now?

Alright That's It. I Have Had It!

Maybe you've heard, but probably you haven't. Johns Hopkins University has released a report about high schools that that they are calling "dropout factories." Four of them are in my adopted West Michigan hometown. Argh! Was not all that I said when I saw the local coverage of the story.

I get that there are some things that the schools should be doing to get more kids to graduate. But how 'bout a little sharing of the blame here? I am willing to share the credit for my young student Johnny/Juan/Ju/Jovante if the student and the family and the community will share some of the blame. Come on people!

These kids who drop out of high school obviously had parents at one time; where the #@$* are they when the kid drops out? Did they do all they could do for Johnny/Juan/Ju/Jovante? Did they read to him when he was little, make sure he did his homework when he was in middle school, keep him involved and doing healthy activities? Did they feed him nutritious food around a table that had at least one adult present for multiple meals a week? Seriously people, if you don't do you part, why does the school have to perform miracles to "fix" your kid? We're only human too!

And don't get me started on all the white and Christian (black and white) people who move out of these schools instead of sticking around to fight for quality at the schools. Oh no, their babies are more precious than other people's babies. Gotta go. Whatever.

Alright, this post was more of a rant than a coherently argued case for working with schools instead of treating them like the enemy, but sometimes I just get tired. Maybe later I'll calm down and say something more logical and less emotional.

Happy Halloween!

This is my favorite holiday. It has been since I was a kid. I like Easter, and Christmas and the 4th of July too, oh, and Thanksgiving, but they all have one problem in common. Whenever I would get excited about gifts or stockings or fireworks or eggs, my dad would always say, "Don't forget the real reason that we celebrate. It's not all about the gifts you know."

Yes dad I do know. I know it so well because you are a very good dad and have raised me up right! Just because I'm excited about this superficial materialistic thing does NOT mean I am shallow!

But Halloween. It really is all about the candy and the costumes. That's it. That's all there is to it. Oh, I know other people have tried to make it about evil and crap like that, but I scoff at their efforts. None of them, no matter how evil they may be can out maneuver the American Marketing Juggernaut! Yes, candy sellers, costume makers and purveyors of decorations will triumph and Halloween will always be, "All about the goodies."

So here’s to the Draco Malfoy, Black Cat, and Little Red Riding Hood (who even got her dad to don a wolf mask) who reside at my house this year. Let the candy feasting begin!

I Think I'd Like to British, Maybe

This summer Sue (who is so young and beautiful with all of her long blond hair) and Charlotte had a YouTube link on their blog to Paul Potts. You can link to him
here
if you like, but he's not actually the point of my story. Anyway, as Rachel and I were watching the video, she said, "Oh, I've seen him. Did you see the one with the little girl? She should come on right after. I think her name is Connie." Ok, two points to this story. A. How does my seven year old know about a YouTube video, make that two videos, that I never showed her?! This isn't going to be the last time this happens, but it sure made for a shock this first time. Turns out that when she was with my parents this summer, my Uncle Joe had showed both my mom and her the two videos. Whew. She hasn't taken to surfing on her own yet.

The other thing about this story is the actual video of Connie. You can watch it here.
As I watched this lovely little girl sing I was struck by the fact that she actually looked and sounded like the six year old that she is. Even when you see her sing in the finals, she still looks like a little girl. She's wearing a sweet little girl dress that was, or at least could have been, already in her closet. She has no make up on, or it's done to look like she has none on. And she just has clean, combed hair. In other words she does not look like a tart in a tiny body, which is totally what would have happened in an American TV talent show. And now that I think about it even more, there is no way that Paul Potts would have gotten the reaction that he got from an English audience from an American audience.

We are so dang shallow in this country! Why is that? Why do we seem to value style over substance and making everyone fit a very narrow definition of acceptability? I'm not trying to be anti-American, but this is something we should look at in ourselves and see what we can do about it. I can't change TV or magazines, but I can change how I respond to them and how I respond to people who don't fit the narrow definition of how you're "supposed" to look. I can also refuse to allow anyone, even myself, to put my children or me into set boxes.

Who's The Boss?

A Newsweek writer posed an interesting question this week. “Is it ever ok to discipline someone else’s child?” Her unofficial research said that the social norm is, “No, pretty much never.” There were a few exceptions: If a child is in danger, the child is a very close family friend or maybe a gentle (half-hearted?) discipline on a play date.

I have to admit, that pretty much lines up with how the social norm feels to me as well. If someone else gets on my kid’s case and I’m standing right there, I don’t take it as helpful, I take it as a backhanded reprimand to me for not disciplining my own child. On the other hand, if I’m not right there, it seems to me that another adult should step in. I might feel a little resentful, or embarrassed when I find out about it, but maybe it would do my child some good to know that he/she can’t get away with stuff when I’m not watching.

I don’t know. I suppose this could be a huge can of worms, because what if the parent disciplines my kid for doing something that is perfectly ok at my house? I know of a little girl whose friend and the friend’s parents told her that she shouldn’t be reading Harry Potter because it’s from the devil. JD would have totally gone off on that parent if it had happened to him.

On the other hand if I’m at a park or something and my child is not playing nice (Can you believe that I would have that concern with my sweeties?!) and I don’t notice, then I would hope somebody’s parent would tell my kid to knock it off.

In my neighborhood, I have other people’s kids at my house all the time. In the summer, I think some of them live here. In that case, it’s my house; they’re my rules. Of course, if the neighbor kids are doing something they shouldn’t be, and then my own kids are right in the thick of it, so it’s mostly a group scolding. I would hope that other neighbor’s would be the same way at their homes.

This is where being a teacher is helpful. I’m less inhibited about bossing around other kids.

I still don’t know though. Once when I was in line at the grocery store my girls were bickering about something. I decided that Abby was the instigator in the matter and “punished” her by making her sit in the cart. As I was putting her in, the old lady in front of us hissed, yes hissed, at Rachel, “You hit her, I saw you hit her.” It was pretty ugly and Rachel denied doing it. I felt bad, Rachel felt bad; it was a bad scene.

But if Rachel had hit her sister- she would totally deny it under pressure like that- then she shouldn’t get away with it. ARGH! What’s the right thing to do?

The Freegans

You might not have heard of them. I just learned about Freegans a few weeks ago in Newsweek. They're people who try to live without spending any money. They're name comes from that fact and the fact that they are also vegans. They even try to get their food free by foraging. Since they live in urban areas, that means foraging in dumpsters. Yes, dumpsters. Apparently that's not as nasty as it sounds if you know where to look. Restaurants and grocery stores through out an amazing amount of perfectly good food.

Here's the part that's stuck in my head about their plan. I hesitated for days to post my thought because in so many ways they have the right idea and I wonder if I am doing any better. However, it seems to me that there's a break down in their logic. They want to disengage themselves from the capitalist machine, but at the same time they are survival depends on Someone being apart of that same machine. Part of living free can mean living on a friend's couch, in addition to the foraging. Capitalists create the “habitat” in which they live and forage.

It seems to me that their hearts are totally in the right place. There is a lot of waste in our capitalist economy and that same economy shuts out groups of people and forces them to live in unchosen poverty. But. It seems to me that Second Harvest, a charity that takes that same waste and shares it with people in need, has a better plan. (Not that Second Harvest digs in dumpsters. They arrange to take the excess before it gets to the dumpter.)

From what I read, most of the Freegans are well-educated people who have or had good, well paying jobs. If they want to disengage maybe they should try what all the hippie farm collectives tried and at least do the work of creating the food and shelter themselves.

You Can't Go Back, But...

Last week as Abby and I were taking clothes off the line and hanging up more, Abby said, “Mommy when you let me hang up clothes with you, I love you so much! When I grow up I am going to be a great clothes hanger.”

That’s pretty much what I think whenever I’ve been doing some task in just the same way my mom and grandma used to do it. That’s part of the appeal of growing vegetables or making jam or even hanging clothes on the line. Of course I love that it’s environmentally friendly and saves me money, but it’s the emotional connection that keeps me going.

Low-tech ways of doing things are more of side-by-side way of doing things. They let me live with my kids, not just meet them at the occasional intersection. The ways of my mom and grandma make tasks not just something to get done and then spend time with my kids; they're accomplishments that we complete together.

When I was a kid my parents had a huge garden, even though we lived in the city. My sister and brothers and I spent a lot of time weeding it, picking and snapping beans, shelling peas and freezing all this stuff. We really resented that we had to do all that work and couldn’t play with our friends. The funny thing was though, all the neighbor kids wanted to do garden work with us! Working with our friends certainly made the job much more pleasant, even if we thought they were weird.

You can’t go backwards. I realize that, but I think that there are some ways that we might think about reviving. These stories and memories tell me there’s a truth to my sense that modern efficiency has a cost much more than the environmental one.

What's in a Name?

Besides wanting Newsweek to publish me, I've always wished that magazines would print my letters to the editor. I haven't written a lot, but still; I think that what I have to say offers such brilliant insight (yes, my tongue is firmly planted in my cheek.) that they should print my letters. Now, thanks to the blogisphere, I no longer care, much.

I once wrote a letter to some parenting magazine about their article on what to tell children to call their various genitalia. (Is various the word I want there?) Of course the magazine was all about saying, "Boys have a penis and girls have a vagina." Fine, no cutesy names, no acting embarrassed, whatever. I get all that. I had a different issue altogether and it's been bugging me ever since.

Why is vagina the automatic counterpart to penis? When you are three or four years old, or when ever the heck this comes up, (go for the pun if you must, we'll all wait for you....) what do you most frequently use that area of you anatomy for? To pee, of course. And I don't know about you, but I have never peed with my vagina. Not once. So it seems to me, that when you are little what's more important than a vagina is a urethra. Unfortunately that's a tough one to say, but it is what you pee with and that's what little kids want to know. Grownups should try thinking like little kids every now and than; it's less complicated if nothing else.

Gracias

Thanks to the people who posted funny underwear stories, I loved them all. If you're looking for your chance to add a story, it's down one post. Thanks to all the people who emailed me to tell me that you laughed and enjoyed the stories, but didn't have one about underwear to share. I find that shocking. I actually have two underwear stories, so I figured most people would have at least one. Ah well.

While I'm on the subject, I might as well tell my other underwear story. (For those of you, I think that might be all of one person, who enjoys my more musier musings, I'm musing a few now and will post them when they gel.)

Natalie's bug was chugging, or was it racing, through the streets of Midland in hot pursuit. No wait; maybe it was her orange Saab. Maybe it doesn't matter. What matters is that we were in hot pursuit. Hot to trot, as my mom would say. We were chasing some boy, let's call him Fred, that Natalie was in love with. We weren't even trying not to be obvious. We stayed close to him and he led us on a merry chase through many neighborhoods. As we were swerving and leaning into corners, Natalie and I were also busy sucking down Big Gulps, or maybe Slurpees. I wish I could tell you more details about all this chasing, but you've gotten the two key things: It was a long chase with a big drink.

I'm pretty sure that by the time we pulled into her driveway the whites of my eyes were yellow. She hadn't even put it in park before I flung myself out of the car door and raced up their front walk. Being a frequent visitor at the house, I felt no need to knock- thank goodness! I burst through the front door and tore up the stairs. It was pretty much a straight shot from the front door, up the stairs and into the bathroom. I didn't even bother to see if the bathroom was empty. There were four girls in the house and this was their bathroom; I had nothing to hide. I skidded to a stop in front of the toilet and hastily sat myself down. What a relief. I had made it.

That relief did not last long however. In midstream I realized that I had forgotten to pull down my pants. There I sat peeing right through my underwear and shorts. Too late to do anything about it now; I just let it flow.

Audience Participation

Another thing I love is "This American Life." You can download their podcast for free at itunes. Every week they choose a theme and bring you various stories on that theme. I'd like to copy them a little. I've chosen a theme and I'm going to tell a story about that theme, then you post a story on the same theme in the comments section and we'll all enjoy a few stories together. The theme is underwear.

When I was about 16 or 17 the task of taking my grandmother to her doctor's appointment somehow fell to me. I'm sure there were good reasons at the time, but for the moment they escape me. She needed someone to take her because she'd had a stroke and walked with a walker. When I say walked, I really mean shuffled.

Her appointment was the last one of the day. By the time we left there was no office staff and no nursing staff, just Dr. Fields and us. Dr. Fields was concerned about Grandma getting out to the car safely with such a young assistant. "Are you sure you're all right getting her out there?" he asked. Whatever my reply was it didn't instill him with much confidence because he insisted on standing on the front porch of his office and watching over us.

I pulled the car right up to the curb and Grandma inched her way out there. I opened the door and stood behind her as she scraped her walker off to the side to get it out of her way. She was supporting herself with one hand on the top of the door and one hand on the handle in the ceiling that Grandpa had installed for her. To maneuver into the car was a complicated series of foot shuffles and hip twists. If she were younger and from another background you might have called it dancing. At any rate, it was right in the middle of all this shuffling and twisting that Grandma's frugal habit of keeping things that should have been thrown out came along to bite her in the...

Well, actually that was the trouble. Her underwear, with it's worthless elastic, wasn't anywhere near her butt. It had given into gravity and was down around her ankles.

"Oh Tonia!" she said, "Is Dr. Fields looking?"

I glanced back, and of course he was looking! That was the whole point of him standing there! But what I said was, "I don't think he can see a thing. You just keep right on shuffling those feet until you come out of that underwear. Then I'll scoop them into the car and no one will be the wiser."

So my grandma, her dignity having better elastic than her drawers, got back to the task of getting into the car, this time with the added challenge of stepping out of her underwear. When she was safely in, I snatched up the underwear, trying to block the Dr.'s view with my body, tossed it on the front seat floor, and off we went. No harm done.

Beauty

I was so touched by this creation by Rachel and our neighbor. Usually they whine about having to play outside, but today they must have been inspired. I love anything where kids use their imaginations and make their own thing, but something about the colors and textures; even the smell of this really lifted my day. Of course their enthusiasm for the project was heart warming as well :-)

In the top picture you can see the house and yard for the little person. Below that is the red flower bed with the little pink eraser girl sleeping on it. The bottom picture features the garage and driveway with house and yard in the background. Rachel took the top two pictures and I took the bottom one.

The Book Thief

I finished reading The Book Thief a week or so ago and I've been puzzling about it ever since.

Book Friends of mine had recommended it very highly, and Ginger wanted me to read it so much that she was nearly beside herself. I usually love what these friends love. Nearly without fail.

I did not fall in love with this book. I liked it. I thought it well written. I thought that a story of the Holocaust told from the point of view of ordinary Germans was an important story to be told.

I found it beautiful. The phrases, sentences, word choices were astonishingly creative. It was a story of the power of words that powerfully used words to tell the story.

But all of that Art stood between me and falling in love. It did not leave a mark on my soul.

Or so I thought. Because if it didn't leave a mark on my soul, why have I had so many conversations about it? Why am I blogging about it now, so long after I finished it?

See? Puzzled.

I Think I'm Backwards From Other People

I've said for years that I'm a backwards Mom. My first born's baby photo album is about a half an inch thick. My second child's album is about an inch and a half or more, and child number three has a big ol' three-inch thick album. That's backwards.

JD, that's kid number one, watched about as much TV as he wanted when his was really little. I've gotten stricter with each kid. What's up with that?!

Now I've realized it's not just the Mom me that's backwards. All of me is. For most people if you want to start a new habit, like exercising, you need a plan, a goal and a way to get there. That has NEVER worked with me. As soon as I mess up, I figure I've missed the mark and I'll never be successful. So, I have no goals, no plan, no set time when I swim or run. And slowly I've grown from swimming or running three days a week, to four and feeling pretty good about that. Then I thought five sounded pretty good and the next thing I knew I was telling myself that I should really give my body a break and not work out seven days a week!

So that's my plan. Don't have a plan. Just take it one day at a time and if you do the thing- whatever it is- that day, then good job! If you don't, tomorrow's another day.

I don't know if this will actually work for everyone, maybe just backwards people.

Fight Evil

I've been thinking more about the Fight Evil part. I've been thinking of ways that everyone can fight evil. In church a few weeks ago the pastor told of a woman who was just barely getting by raising her kids and seeing to her house. She didn't see how she could have the time, energy or other resources to address any of the incidents of injustice that we've learned about lately. I felt bad that she was even more weighed down now, with guilt this time. That's not right. She should feel that she has the power to do Something and that her "little" Something really matters.

Here's the start of a list of things that Anybody could do to fight evil. I don't think Anyone should feel like the list is exhaustive or in anyway a To Do list that you must do all of. It's brainstorming. Some ideas are good and some are good for Someone Else. I can't even claim that I do all the things on this list. They're just ideas. You can add your ideas in the comments section.

Read to your kids. Believe me, as a teacher, I promise you that this makes a difference in the world. Are there other kids around you that you can read to as well?

Send your kids to public school. Know the families that go there. Walk with them. Pray for them. Be a part of the School Family.

Is there a school in crisis that is on your regular drive? Can you find time to just sit outside it and pray for them? Maybe after awhile of doing that you'll see a "next step."

Don't have time to be a tutor of mentor kids? Offer to be a prayer partner for someone who is tutoring or mentoring.

Have a garage sale and give away the money. Just give away your stuff. Just buy less in the first place. Buy used things instead of new.

Be Greener than you are now. Issues of the environment are also issues of Social Justice. What's one non-green habit that you can exchange for a Green habit? Recycling? Buying Local? (I just "met" an Egg Girl, who is going to sell me the eggs from her own chickens. Yeah!) Drying your clothes on the line? Eat less meat? Where can you walk to that you now drive?

Is there gossip in your life that can end with you? That can end even without you hearing it?

Make choices that will intentionally put you "in the way" of people who are different from you racially, religiously, socially. It doesn't feel like doing something extra when you're just helping out a friend, a true friend.

I know this list isn't very long yet. But it's a start. I also know there are people who would tell me that doing all of these or any of these good things will not make you "right with God." I'm not saying they will. I'm saying that God cares about injustice and we should too. The "right with God" thing is such a can of worms that it needs a whole post or maybe a whole blog just for itself. Can we please not get side tracked from doing good to argue about another issue?

I was reading a part of one of my favorite non-fiction books, the Divine Conspiracy, and I thought Dallas Williard made a great point about why we do what is right, why we do what God says. He says that we do good not because God couldn't do it himself and not because God what's his way so badly. We do good because God is trying to make us into Someone, and every time we choose the good way God can make us into a Someone who can be at home in his Kingdom.

One last thing for anyone who still feels like their world is stressful enough and you don't have time for anyone else's issues. My sister spoke pretty convincingly to this on her blog last year. Check it out for yourself.
Link

Fight Evil Read Books

If I've been talking to you live lately then you'll already know about my Harry Potter obsession. Waiting for Book 7 was killer! To fight the anxiety I started visiting mugglenet about five times a day, which then led me to mugglecast, who introduced me to Alex Carpenter and The Remus Lupins. Alex has this great catch phrase, or saying or philosophy or something like that. Anyway, it's Fight Evil. Read Books.

That is SO awesome. I also love both of those things and believe that they totally go together. I have this theory that readers of Literature are just generally more aware of the world and people around them. A great example is the mugglecast hosts. I am so darn impressed by these "kids," most of who are in college now. JK decided to pull out the big guns of language in her last book and had the character Molly Weasley refer to another witch by a name that she COMPLETELY deserved. So, now on the podcast the question is whether or not they should use the word.

The hosts went with "no." And their reason? There are younger kids who listen to this show and we should be respectful of them. That is awesome. As I look at the graffiti on my kid's playground, there is NO respect for the fact that this is a place where little kids play. Obviously these people do not Read Books and Fight Evil!

When I was a less than perfect high school student, we did naughty things that we should do, and some of them happened on playgrounds. But with my friends, my friends who READ BOOKS, there was an unwritten rule that no evidence of this bad behavior was to be left behind. And graffiti, with or without cuss words, was out of the question.

So that's my evidence that Fight Evil Read Books is a good life slogan. What do you think?

The Spirit/Body Connection Thing

I've heard, read, whatever, a lot about how the mind helps heal the body. It's a good thing, and I'm glad that healers are paying attention to that connection.

But I've been thinking about the reverse. When your body's got issues, it's awfully hard on your spirit and your mind. When I'm tired I find it nearly impossible to be nice, to face challenges, to be patient, to give God- or anyone else- even the time of day. When I'm sick, I feel so discouraged and beaten down. It's hard to have hope when you're in pain.

This summer I started swimming laps pretty seriously, and going running on the days that I couldn't get to the pool. I started doing it to fight depression. I really think it's working. Which is weird, since I hate exercising. I don't mind doing things that involve exercise, but just plain exercising- yuck.

I did some other things (reconnect with my friends and husband, for example) that have helped my dark cloud of gloom, but I really think that getting a healthier body is helping my spiritual life. I was just thinking yesterday as I was swimming that it wouldn't be that hard to get up 15 minutes earlier so that I could both pray and exercise. It really seems doable. I'll get back to you.

A Sad Epiphany

I think it's Jesus who says this, but it might be his follower, Paul. "If you are guilty of one part of the Law, then you are guilty of the whole Law."

I always thought that was a little harsh. I mean come one, who doesn't mess up occasionally? Who could possibly meet that standard? I thought it was one of those exaggerations meant to show me what a sinner I am and how I could never make it without Jesus. While it is true that I couldn't make it without Jesus, I'm not sure that was Jesus' motivation for making the comment. Or maybe he had a lot of motivations- he is brilliant like that- and this is just one of them.

I have a work friend that I've been working with for going on five years now. We've become pretty close, sharing stories and histories that go beyond school. She prays for my friends and I've prayed for her family. It's a good work friendship. We encourage each other, swap ideas and share the load.

A few weeks ago when I was having a majorly hormonal day there was a group of us working on the recess schedule. It was a nightmare. We could not find a time when all seven of us could have recess together, to share the duty and get each person a break. We finally decided there would have to be multiple recesses which meant everyone taking on more responsibility. During all of this I found that I was the recording secretary and sort of moderating the discussion.

When my friend mentioned that the day she was going to take duty was a day that she wasn't going to have any breaks, I tried to get her to take a different day. She declined. I tried again. She declined again. I tried again, but with less patience. She declined once more and that's when I blew it. I snapped at her, "Fine! Then I don't want there to be any complaining about how you don't have any breaks this year!"

"There won't be," she said, with a hurt and puzzled look.

Much later, as in a month later, we were able to talk about what had happened. I apologized for yelling at her in front of everyone and said that it wouldn't happen again. Unfortunately, it seems like there is still some residual awkwardness.

Which brings me, finally, to my said epiphany. No matter how many encouraging things I have said to her, no matter how many times I've listened kindly, no matter how generous I have been in the past, I blew it. Things are not the same between us. They may be again at some point, but one "little" ugly thing looms much larger than all the good things.

Jesus wasn't laying on a guilt trip. As he does so often, he was just telling it like it is.

Time for a change

Right. So I started this blog twice. For the same purpose each time. To discuss God stuff with people. Yep. Never worked out. So now I'm takin' it back and I'm doing it myself, for myself. I'm changin' the title too. I got the idea from one of my neighbors. I told him that I only blog in my head. I have a long commute and that offers me plenty of opportunity to form opinions, develop theories, silently rant, etc. So, now I'm giving it a go at getting the blog "outta my head." I even thought about calling it that for awhile, but I'm goin' with this title.

We'll see where this sucker goes. Nowhere? Everywhere? Both at the same time? Will I even remember what I was thinking by the time I get out of my car and to my computer? Hard to predict......