I Hate the Whites

Ok, maybe "hate" is too strong a word. But I really don't like them. The problem with the whites is first of all there are too many of them, and of the too many, too many more are little. They use up a lot of time and resources. The next problem with the whites is that they require a lot of extra services that aren't needed by other groups. There's extra care and concern that goes into many of the whites. To really get anything done with some of the whites you have to provide the same services twice just to get them up to basic results. It's all very frustrating. They just continue to look scruffier and older than every other group.

It annoys me so much that I've begun to discriminate against them. I save them for last. Sometimes I overlook them all together figuring, "I'll get to them next time." I allow them to languish, hidden behind a closed door, even after they've nearly been all taken care of.

One thing that really annoys me about the whites is how they so many of them don't stay together anymore. I see more singles than pairs these days. Some people have even started pairing whites that don't actually belong together in a misguided effort to force "pairhood" on those who just don't seem to want it.

Well, I think I've come up with a possible solution to this problem. I think I'm going to stop treating the whites like they're something special. I think I'm going to stop putting them in their own group altogether. I think I'm going to start mixing them in with the colors and the darks. That ought to solve it because soon there won't even be any whites. They'll all be grey, or pink.

More Stuff No One Warns You About

As per usual I was behind on detail sorts of jobs that have to be done but never seem to make it on to my priority list. I'm sure you'll be shocked when you learn that I couldn't get "Pay for childcare" onto the priority list. That job smells like paperwork and I'm allergic to paperwork.

When I pulled into the driveway to drop off my check this morning, I saw that there were two vans ahead of me so I knew I'd have to just quickly dash in, drop my check and leave. It turned out to be two people who were doing some work at the house, not parents dropping off, so it was a good twenty minutes that I stood there visiting with Rose after I gave her the check. We had a nice little chat about her kids, my kids, the daycare kids, no politics or religion today, but we usually hit those topics too. Somewhere in the last twelve years that Rose has been caring for my children, we became friends.

As I was walking out to my van after, I commented to the lady who was leaving at the same time, that I had stayed longer than I had intended. I said, "My kids only come one day a week now and I just don't get enough Rosie Time like I used to."

That's what no one warns you about. You hear a lot about how fast your kids grow up and how you better enjoy those moments because some day they'll be gone and all that, but no one tells you that they're going to out grow people to whom you've grown attached.

Two years ago, when Abby finished kindergarten, the teacher and I were so sad to say good-by to each other. We had had regular contact for six years and now we were going to have to switch to "Hi/Bye" friends. That leaves a space in your life that the first grade teacher doesn't fill. There's no one quite like a kindergarten/preschool teacher.

Then there are the friendships with other kids that your own kids out grow. When JD's friend was over the other day he was teasing JD about not listening to his mom and how he should just do what he's supposed to do for a change. I asked him, "Jake, if you and JD stop being friends, can we still be friends?!" Luckily for me, for the moment at least he's cool with that.

Looking ahead I just see a whole lot of separation over which I have no control. I dread the day the last kid finishes elementary school and I have to say good-by to that whole family of people. By then I will have spent something like 16 years in that building, with those people. Right now I actually look forward to conferences or evening activities as a time to catch up with friends.

Then, I suppose, there's going to be the boyfriend that I like who gets dumped or scarier yet, a fiance. I mean I can joke about continuing to be friends with JD's friend, but in reality that would be a little creepy. And really, my kid's relationships are going to be a "no fly zone" as far as my interfering is going to be concerned- especially if I'm just being selfish about it!

I know this is how things work and life is change and blah, blah, blah, but I just want permission to mourn a little when these losses happen. They don't make a card for, "Hey my kid is done with you and sorry about that but I guess we're not hangin' out anymore, so see ya!" You're just stuck feeling a little sad and at loose ends on your own.

I'm wondering though, if I can't keep the friends, and I have to move on to different teachers, can I at least keep Rose?

Hmmm, I guess I better look into how serious she is about getting paid on time.

Halloween

I know it's a little late for a Halloween post, but for pete's sake, I was awfully busy getting ready for Halloween before Halloween, so there was no time for blogging about it! I mean, I had hair dye to find, a costume to throw away after I tried to sew it and failed miserably, t-shirt drawers to dig through and stupid tie to unearth. That's a lot of effort people! There were also many trips to Goodwill and The Salvation Army and a few actual costume shops. Luckily I have Charlotte to mail me just what I need in my moment of desperation.


The other problem is that Halloween has gotten to be a long drawn out affair- kind of like Christmas. My kids had to get dressed up four- yes you read that right- FOUR different times! They went trick-or-treating THREE times! It seems like there can be as much as two solid weekends of Halloween festivities. It's not just that Halloween was on a Sunday this year and so all the Dutch people wanted to trick-or-treat on Saturday. I've felt this way for several years now. I disagree with the line of thought that goes, "Well it's so much more fun to wear your costume more than once, after all you put so much effort into it! Or if not effort, money!"

I might sound a bit like a Halloween Scrooge here, but that would be far from the truth. Since childhood, Halloween has actually been my favorite holiday. My reasons for choosing Halloween for this honor are actually not very flattering. Halloween is my favorite holiday because it is the one holiday where your parents do not say, "Remember the true meaning!" In fact, your parents may not want you to think about the true meaning at all, depending on what their understanding of the origins of Halloween are.

Halloween is really all about the candy, the costumes and the decorations. No need for deep reflection and inward searching. No opening yourself to the lessons of the season in order to let it change and mold you. If you seem to only be pretending, well you're in good company because it's all about pretending!

At Halloween it's appropriate to scare yourself silly and then laugh yourself silly because you were so scared. It's cathartic; I believe that's the word. We put a lot of effort into being serious and deep for most of the year, or at least we're asked to do that. It's good to have a holiday that doesn't make any sense and take time to enjoy the ridiculous.

At Halloween we get to be silly, foolish, crazy, awful or whoever we never get to be, and then get lots of compliments- and candy- for it. Nice.