So I saw my old friend Janel last week, although I should immediately clarify that she is not old. She, as she reminded me repeatedly, is a good six months younger than me. Outside of my cousins, whom I definitely consider friends, Janel is my oldest friend.  I think we met in either eighth or ninth grades.  We stayed friends through the ups and downs of teen girl life and she remains my only actual contact from high school. Well, until last week when we also hooked up with our friend Roberta with whom we've been friends since the eighth grade as well. Anyway, all that to say, "She knew me when."

Just a few days before I had lunch with Janel and Roberta, I had a soul baring session with my girlfriends here in GR. We were sharing things that we struggle with. These girls already know me pretty well; I've been friends with them for ten or more years.  When I commented, "I'm so needy!  I hate that I'm so needy!" there were confused looks all around the room. 

Heidi said, "What does that mean?  I don't get what you're saying." Apparently I don't seem as needy on the outside. 

Later, driving home, Heidi and I were rehashing the evening when I referred to myself as being, "so dramatic." 

"What?  That's the second thing tonight you've said that surprised me."

Seems that my efforts to rein in the drama have been reasonably successful. 

Back to lunch with my "old" friends. (Janel, that is perfectly acceptable use of quotation marks, and even in my mind I did not do them in the air!)  I repeated the story about not being seen as needy or dramatic. 

It's a credit to their self control that they didn't snort their drinks or choke on their food.  They merely chuckled, shook their heads and gave me the, "Yeah right," look. Of course, when Janel, Roberta and I were in more frequent contact, those two character traits were on daily display.

I'm not saying that I have or haven't grown and changed.  I think you could make the case either way.  I do have more self control, which all good grown ups should have, and I do have more confidence generally.  On the other hand, in my head I still react with fierce drama to sometimes small things and I have a fierce need to be reassured.  Wouldn't it be healthier to at least acknowledge that a little bit more?  Is self control just a cover up for honesty? 

Here's a book list from one of my students this year.  She and I have similar taste in books; in fact I've read about half of her list. She's a very enthusiastic reader and we used to discuss books when I was on the playground for recess duty. The books are generally fourth grade reading level through middle school, with one picture book thrown in.  There's a nice mix of genre as well.  If you read any of them, post your thoughts here or on
Good Reads.

In no particular order, except this is the order she gave it to me:

Stargirl (sequel is Love, Stargirl) realistic fiction, Jerry Spinelli

The Sisters Grimm, fantasy series, Michael Buckley

Rules, realistic fiction, Cynthia Lord

Chasing Redbird, Sharon Creech (the genre is a little unclear and I haven't read it.)

Granny Torelli Makes Soup, realistic fiction, Sharon Creech

Ella Enchanted, fantasy, Gail Carson Levine

Fairest, fantasy, Gail Carson Levine

The Two Princesses of Bamarre, fantasy, Gail Carson Levine

Eggs (A.'s note: the beginning is a little bit boring but it gets better.)realistic fiction, Jerry Spinelli

Shug, realistic fiction, Jenny Han

The Last Dog on Earth, I'd call it science fiction, Daniel Ehrenhaft

Kira Kira, realistic fiction, Cynthia Kodohata

The Last Book on the Universe, science fiction, Rodman Philbrick

Otherwise Known as Sheila the Great, realistic fiction, Judy Blume

The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane, fantasy/realistic mix, Kate DiCamillo

The Tiger Rising, realistic fiction, Kate DiCamillo

A  Corner of the Universe, realistic fiction, Ann M. Martin

A Cricket in Times Square, reality/fantasy mix, George Selden

The Wanderer, realistic fiction, Sharon Creech

Firegirl, realistic fiction, Tony Abbott

A Crooked Kind of Perfect, realistic fiction, Linda Urban

The Invention of Hugo Cabret, fantasy/reality mix, Brian Selznick

Zathura, fantasy, Chris VanAlsburg (note from A. See the movie!  It shows Bella! (from Twilight)She's not really the star.)

The Penderwicks, realistic fiction, Jeanne Birdsall

The Naked Mole-Rat Letters, realistic fiction, Mary Amato

Ophie out of Oz, realistic fiction, Kathleen O'Dell

Boys and Frogs and Snakes and Other Dangers

I picked up my sweaty, filthy son from daycare after school today.  He was radiant.  It was the best day ever, he said.  His class had gone on a bike trip of about eight miles.  Along the way he had jumped in river and swam across a pond. 

"Were you supposed to be in the pond?" I asked.

"Yes." His voice clearly said, "Duh, mom."

"How do you know?"

"Ms. Lee was standing right there watching us from the other side of the pond."

I was thinking, "So? She was probably wondering what the heck those boys were doing in the pond and what was she going to do about it now?"  Aloud, I said, "What did she say when you got over to her?"

"Good job!"

Man, I love that woman.  I would have been all afraid that they would get in trouble with their parents, or that I would get in trouble with my boss.  I would never have let the kids in the pond, and if they had gone in, I would have scolded them.  I think Ms. Lee is a far wiser teacher than I am.

JD had also caught frogs and snakes and even a snake with a fish in it's mouth.  He had seen dangerous snakes and even leeches. I bet I heard him say five times that he had been bitten by a snake, but it was just a little bite.  There was a turtle claw and some seaweed in his pocket, and the telling of his tale filled nearly every minute until bedtime.

As I listened and watched him I was once again reminded that boys need space to do dangerous things. (Perhaps some girls do as well, but I think they are different kinds of dangerous things.) I don't know why they need to risk life and limb, but they do.  I think that's why more boys than girls play battle themed video games.  We don't live in a world where there is much room for a boy to run on his own and risk much of anything, but they still have that same urge to test themselves and to explore their physical limits. All that many boys have is video games.  I don't imagine that it's quite as satisfying as JD's day of rivers and ponds was.  

You Could Have Been a Teacher Too

I was at my job share partner's house the other day working on grades.  We've been together for so long that we are practically part of each other's family.  Her husband often chats with me on the phone a while if I call when she's not home.  We trade jests and insults, but lightly.  Sometimes though he really yanks my chain, mostly when he starts nagging his wife to work full time, especially when he tries to insist that it's because they need the money.  

I also get wound up when he starts in on teacher's unions and teacher's benefits.  Saturday it was summer vacation.

"So, you ready to be out?" he asks.

"Sure," I say, "But I kind of feel like I'm done already.  I only have a day and half with the kids this week."

"Man, I can't imagine getting that much time off.  I've never had more than four weeks off in a year, let alone all at once."  This was muttered, somewhat, but not quite, under his breath.

Without thinking, which I thought I was growing out of, I snap back, "You wouldn't last four weeks doing my job, never mind the vacation."

No reply.

Why don't people who think my job is nothing but perks,  just become teachers?  After all, "Those who can, do, and those who can't, teach," right?  So, I'm sure that every Tom, Dick and Harry out there is qualified to do what I do.  Have at it boys (and girls).  I'll sit back and laugh.