My Year With My Sixth Grader, Part I

Remember when I was trying to think of one of those One Year of books that I could write? I finally found one. I told JD tonight that I wished I'd known how much time we were going to spend together this year because I would have been taking notes for a book. He said, "Don't worry, you're going to spend just as much time with me next year because I'll still have to get up at 6:00 in the morning."

Truthfully, having a sixth grader has been almost as life changing as the birth of that same child nearly 12 years ago. Only, you don't see this one coming. With a baby you have nine months to try and wrap your head around the idea that you're going to have sleepless nights, no privacy, and dinners free from adult conversation. By the time the baby is actually ready to be born, you're so uncomfortable that you're willing to endure what ever challenges parenting might bring just to get that thing out of you.

With a sixth grader, (or whatever grade it happens for your child. That's the other reason you don't see it coming; it happens at different ages for different kids.) you just "wake up" one day in October or November and look around at the landscape of your life and realize that it's completely unfamiliar. First of all there's a completely new routine that you did not set. The parenting starts earlier and ends later. JD and I leave for his bus stop at 6:30 in the morning. If I'm going to school we drive and I wait with him. If I'm not, we walk and I still wait with him, except now I'm freezing. JD is chatty at 6:30 in the morning; me, not so much. In the evening, instead of settling in for some adult time with Russ at 8:30, I'm proofreading research papers or book reports and checking the progress (only the progress, I assure you) of algebra and geometry assignments. Sometimes instead of kissing him goodnight in his bed, he's kissing me good nigh in my bed because I just can't stay up anymore.

It's not that it's all bad. It's just that it's all different. Although the fact that I'm dumber than I was a year ago is irritating. Over Christmas break JD had to do an entire research project on atomic structure. The research was going to be presented as a demonstration for the class; it also included a written component, but that written piece was NOT going to be read as part of the demonstration. I told JD that he needed some kind of written plan that helped him organized what he wanted to say so that he wouldn't forget anything and so that the flow would be logical. A huge fight ensued because, well I don't know why exactly, but I ended up having a not so mature fit and saying something like, "Fine, if I'm so dumb I guess there's nothing I can do to help you. You're on your own." I know, impressive, right?

Anyway, later we were stringing popcorn and cranberries with the girls. It was quiet and a little tense. The girls aren't crazy about all the fighting between JD and me. After awhile JD says, "Wow mom, you're really good at this! How did you get to be so good at stringing popcorn and cranberries." Right. I definitely didn't feel like my credentials as a public speaker were back in place, but I did at least feel like my son wanted me to know that he loves me, no matter how intelligent I may or may not be.