How is it that I will be able to feel relief that my house has been spared, when I already know that someone else's house has not been spared? For certain the families of the children are already living with death. Even if all my daughters' friends have been spared, someone's friend is never coming over to play again. Is my hope that we will not know these children essentially a wish for grief to visit someone else? "Not here, not here, not here!" really means, "Over there, over there, over there..." Somehow that just doesn't seem right.
I can't stop those feelings though. It's impossible. I mean, who welcomes grief?
It might be too soon for me to be posting about this, but my head is all mixed up and I had to work it out somewhere. Waiting...
3 comments:
So, what was the outcome? Andy and I went to GRAM Friday nights and then had dinner at 5 de Mayo and I overhead on the news that Northpark was the school of one of the girls. So, do your girls know her? I assume that even if she wasn't in the Montessori program, they'd still know her? Yikes, now that's not an easy thing to face. Sorry.
The little girl was someone that every kid in the school is likely to know. Her name is Marissa Emmkins and she volunteered in the office with Miss Marissa. She was there a LOT! She just finished fourth grade.
It's a very mixed up set of feelings. There are so many children at that school that I have known since they were preschoolers. The final stand off was right near apartments where so many kids live.
And, it's as I predicted, a mix of relief, grief, and guilt that I took the news that this was not one of those students that was close to Rachel or Abby.
Too too sad.
I was so sorry to hear about that. I read about her in the paper and she did sound like a sweetie and her Mom and Aunt volunteered too. I heard that some of the people in those apartments weren't able to get back home until 1:30 AM. It's such a bummer in life when things like that happen. I was wondering if Hope and Brooke knew the other girl that died...haven't checked with Brenda yet.
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