Whatcha Shoulda Done Is...

My family and I are going to Orlando in a few weeks. We plan to go to Universal Studios to see Harry Potter World, to Downtown Disney to see Cirque du Soleil and to Boma at Animal Kingdom Lodge for dinner. Right now, many of you are thinking, "Oh, what you really need to do while you're there is..." And I'm more or less fine with that. My friends Charlotte and Sue, for example, have given me many great suggestions over the years that have made my vacations awesome.

What's really going to drive me crazy is what's going to happen after I purchase the Cirque tickets or choose my day to go to HP World, or even when I tell about my trip after I get back. That's when someone, or in reality, several someones, are going to say, "Oh, that's great! What you should have done though is.... then you would have really gotten a great deal, had a great time, whatever."

What IS UP with that?! What good does your information do me now except to make my experience seem less great that I had been thinking it was right before you said that?! It's not like I can take your advice for "next time." There is no next time! These are the kinds of trips and activities you do once. (Except, this is going to be my third dinner and Boma. I never thought I'd be the kind of person who has a favorite Orlando restaurant, but that's a different post.)

The same thing happens after you make a big purchase decision. Inevitably someone will say, "Oh, did you know you could have gotten that Apple computer for less if you had worked angle blah blah blah?" Or, you comment that you really enjoyed the show you saw in Chicago and someone says, "I've heard that's a great show, but you really should have made time for..."

"You paid how much for those plane tickets? You could get a great deal if you went to 'Imsuchabetterdealfinderthanyou.com."

"Skiing at Boyne last weekend? Did you know you could have used Shell Gas coupons and skied for free?"

"Huh. You paid XYZ for your replacement windows? My neighbor got his from Window Huckster for only PDQ."

Actually, it's not limited to big purchases. Have you ever bought new shoes only to be told how there was a great sale on them at some store other than where you bought them? Does the person really think that this is helpful? Does she really expect that you're going to take back the pair of shoes that you got for $40 and then go buy them somewhere else for $30? My time is worth more than $10 an hour! (Although, not according to the Gov. of WI and Fox News pundits, but again, I'm dipping into other posts.) I was enjoying my shoes plenty, no matter how much I spent on them, thank you very much. Now that you've opened your big mouth I can no longer enjoy my shoes; instead, I have to devote my energies to deciding whether or not I should take them back and go get a better deal, or should I just sulk over my inability to get a good deal in the first place?!

I'm starting to feel that this isn't really about you helping me at all. It's about me helping you feel like a smarter/better/cooler person, whether I want to help you with that or not. That's really what this is, isn't it? Not that most people would admit it, but we all feel like losers to some extent. We second guess ourselves and doubt our own worth. The quickest and easiest way to feel less like a loser is to at least be less of a loser than someone else. It's such a hard drug to avoid isn't it?