ADD

I think maybe it's not just kids. I actually think that there are plenty of parents and teachers who have ADD. Maybe even as an American culture we have ADD. Sort of, it's not our fault; how can I pay attention to Haiti when there's an earthquake in Chile just a few weeks later? And how can I care about Rod Blagojevich, when Manny Vasile is busy tickling his male aides? Seriously! There's just way to much info coming in. And I'm supposed to be well informed and thoughtful about all of it. The proof that that's not going to happen is that I consider "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me," to be one of my primary news sources.

However, there is another side to our adult ADD that is our own fault and we can actually do something about it. This is the ADD that's caused by impatience. When we want something to work, we want it to work now. And I mean NOW. We are not fans of try, try again. Where I see this as particularly troubling both in myself and others is in disciplining kids. When we set up a new discipline plan with our kids, whether that be at home or some job with kids, we expect that the setting forth of the plan itself is going to solve the behavior problem. We get really ticked off when we have to actually follow through and enact the consequences set forth for the behavior we're trying to change. We cannot believe that the kid didn't just crumble at the mere "threat" of consequences! How dare Little Festus try and see what we're made of! I'm mean, trying and exploring and checking things out is such an insane thing for a kid to do!

Even if we don't get irritated the first time we have to enact the consequence, when we don't see results in a few days, we start casting about for a new plan. Clearly this one is flawed. Here's where I would like to applaud my friend Heidi. She read somewhere that it takes a kid 10 tries to accept a new food. Heidi is one of the most patient and determined people I know. So, she started putting carrots on her son's plate every day. Every day he had to try one bite. For ten days straight she did the same thing. And nothing happened. Until the 10th day. On the tenth day, he took two bites, and then at some point he finally at the whole carrot. That woman does not have ADD. She kept her eyes on the prize and believed in her plan. Now she's on to food number two, some other vegetable that her son needs to learn to eat.

I think with that story of encouragement, I might be able to follow through on grounding my son for falling behind on his school work. If it takes ten times to try a new food, it's going to take at least that many times to try a new work habit. When he gets grounded for the third time this year, (oh wait, that already happened. whatever) I'm not going to throw up my hands and say, "Clearly he's not learning! This plan isn't working! What the heck are we going to do with this kid! Disaster has struck!" Nor am I going to let my husband go hysterical. (That also may take ten times to learn.) No, we are going to put forth our work habit expectations and the consequences for not meeting those expectations seven more times and seriously pray that on the tenth time, he'll at least take a second bite.