There are a lot of things I like about being 40. I love that it is now impossible, I mean not the teensiest shred of possibility for me to be cool and the pressure is totally off. I love that shocked look people give me when I tell them my age because, thanks to my good genes, I don't look 40. It's just not that shocking to be 30 something and also look like a younger, but still 30 something. I feel like being 40 gives me permission to enjoy my jiggly, post three babies, belly. It's not going to be hard and flat ever again and who cares?! I love being in the middle. There are women younger than me that share ideas and energy from another generation and there are women older than me who also share ideas and wisdom from another generation. It's the sweet spot.
Sadly though, it's that last bit that makes not so excited about being 40. I feel like it won't be long until I'm in that generation that's supposed to have spun their life experience into a shelter of wisdom that blesses those who come after them. I'm not up to it! I don't want to loose my elders, my mentors, my protectors. I can't become them; I'm not ready. I can't even see how I'll ever be ready. Both at work and at home I find there are 500 things that I don't know, haven't figured out, can't explain. How will I ever be ready to care for others the way I've been cared for? It freaks me a little. Not a lot, but a little.
2 comments:
Forty was a great decade, but 50 is good too. I love being an empty nester, and having the freedom to enjoy marriage in a new way. We've been together so long, and know each other so well now, that our relationship is more smooth than in those early days of marriage. Intimacy has been developed in all aspects of your relationship. Your children relate to you in a different way. It's nice. Sometimes, they actually ASK for your advice. I am rediscovering who I am as a woman who can once again make choices with her life. Who am I NOW, what do I want to be, what have I accomplished, and what do I want to accomplish in the latter part of my life. The possibilities are endless. The good news is, I still need my friends, young and old, to help me figure these things out! Wow, this comment is almost a blog - sorry! getrae!
Just read this and I have to say you really made me feel good about being 40+. I think once again you hit the nail on the head. The sweet spot!
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