A Story and a Few Questions

You may or may not know that I have really wrestled with prayer over the last few years.  Sadly it's not that I've wrestled in prayer, although sometimes that has been the case.  I've longed to find the meaning of it, the purpose of it, the peace of it.  Because I've been unclear in my own mind about prayer, it's been more than a little challenging to teach prayer to my children and answer their questions.  

I don't know, perhaps my children are ordinary, but to me their questions and musings are quite extraordinary.  They ask me why bad things happen, is God punishing them, does God really love the people in the stories to whom bad things happen? You know, stuff like that.  JD is especially thoughtful about all matters, outside of keeping track of things and everyday tasks. I don't invent answers, and I never claim to know it all. They would find me out much too quickly.  I usually reply with whatever honest answer I'm at in my own journey.

JD has had two bikes stolen from the library near our house in the last month.  It was particularly devastating the second time because it seemed so cruel.  Both JD and I shed tears over the matter, although he doesn't know that.  At dinner on the day of the second incident it was JD's turn to pray.  Of course he prayed for God to find his bike for him.  My willingness to try praying for anything that matters has improved lately and I joined him in his prayer, in my own heart.

This morning JD seemed pretty cheerful and didn't even mention the bike situation himself.  I suggested that we both think of ways to replace the bike,  jobs he could do to earn money, that kind of thing.  We didn't really dwell on it though, too depressing for me.

Around 11:00 the mom of one of Rachel's friends phone to invite her to play.  I know the mom pretty well and we spent a few minutes catching up with each other as we were making plans for the girls.  As is my usual custom, I walked around my house putting things away as I was talking on the phone.  As I came up the stairs from the basement something of JD's caught my eye, probably his shoes laying in the middle of the floor.  The sight triggered a thought.

"On a completely different note," I said to Suzanne, "You don't happen to have a boy's bike that you're getting ready to sell, do you?"  Suzanne has a son that is a year older and a good deal taller than JD.

"Actually," she said, "I just gave away a bike to a friend, but the last time I saw her son ride over here, he wasn't riding that bike.  You know what I can do? As soon as I get off  the phone with you, I'll call her up and see if her son is using the bike."

About a half hour later Suzanne called back. "Cara is on her way with Jennifer to pick up Rachel.  They should be there shortly.  And I talked to my friend.  She's not using the bike. She'll drop it off in a little bit and you can pick it up when you pick up Rachel."

I was stunned.  I actually stood still. "Seriously?!  I can't believe it.  Thank you so much!  Will you let me pay you for the bike?"

"Tonia, I gave the bike to Patrice, of course I'm just going to give it to you!  I hope JD will like the bike.  It's pretty heavy duty. Actually it's a stunt bike, but it looks cool for sure."

Later, as we were out and buying a bike like, JD said something about how amazingly it had all worked out.  I decided to take, in my view, a risk.

"Well, I guess this is how God answered your prayer to get your bike back.  He does tend do things  in unexpected ways."

"You're right mom!  And I thought God was just punishing me for something bad I did.  Maybe my bike was stolen because I'm meant to have the stunt bike so I can grow up to be a BMX rider!"

I went with the extremely safe, "We'll see."

Since that conversation, I've been rehashing like crazy.  What do I want JD to take away from this experience?  I've come down to three important questions and there are no easy answers to any of them.

Did God really answer his prayer?

Does it matter?

What will happen when God doesn't or seems not to answer his prayer?

I'm relieved to say that for now, it's just me asking those questions, but the day is coming when he's going to be right there wrestling with me.  I hope when that day comes I have the strength to let him do his own wrestling and not try to hold him back with easy religious cliches.