It might just be me, it seems we have a bit of an inconsistency in our societal rules about sex.
I started thinking about this because as a fifth grade teacher I'm always telling the girls not to waste their time on boys; they have more important things to pursue in life. Multiple people have told me that I'm wasting my breath. I've also been told that the only way to keep my own girls from getting pregnant before they're married is to teach them about birth control. I'm not against teaching them that. Nor do I think that all the girls I teach will heed my advice about boys, but these two responses have gotten me thinking.
There seems to be an expectation that all people will engage in sexual activity when they are not married and that seems to fine. At the very least it is impossible to expect people not to do so. On the other hand there seems to be agreement that once you are married you're expected to only have sex with that person. To do so with anyone else is considered wrong.
I don't get it. Why is it reasonable to expect people to have self-control in one situation and not in the other? Is it because in the married situation the people have a release for their sexual urges? Does that, then, make it ok for married people who are apart for a length of time to have sex with someone not their spouse, or do they still have to maintain self-control?
Like I said, something just doesn't add up for me here.
3 comments:
i think this is another example (like the words adults use to explain genitalia to kids) where adults project their own views and experience on the kids they are advising and acting like all kids think and act like they do and that even though they're kids they think and act like adults.
A colleague and I were just discussing how difficult it is for her to find appropriate clothing for her 5 year old daughter. She said she went to JC Penney for underwear and all she could find were the "sexy" "boy toy" undies! For a FIVE year old! The outfits are outrageous too...
The sad thing is... people BUY them.. so that just makes manufacturers (sp?) make more.
My niece, when she was 10 year old, wrote a letter to Brittany Spears telling her how disappointed she was that Brittany dressed the way she did considering she was a role model for young girls. You go Hannah!!! (T, remember little Hannah visiting on Little Sibs weekend? Yeah.. she's driving now!)
Society as a whole is going down the tubes, I tell ya. For anyone reading who doesn't know.. I teach preschool.. I have kids for 3.5 hours per day (not including their bus ride to and from school). I often call parents to tell them their THREE YEAR old is sick... and they don't even know where the school is to come pick them up! WHAT? If parents don't care enough to know where their child is for 3+ hours every day, then why should we think they'd care how the child is dressed... who the child is hanging out with... what the child is doing... ??
Yeah, *sigh*, I have to agree, T. "What's Up?"
Yep. It's a totally backwards system. Being a slightly out-of-touch person (and maybe slightly child-like), I've often wondered about the inconsistancy of these two social rules. I have a really good friend whose husband travels with work quite a bit and I always wonder what the rules are for someone like that. Not that he would have an affair, because he's got a lot of integrity, as does my friend, but I couldn't help but wonder, "How do these rules apply??" There is a large population of TV shows (obviously not all of them but there are several) that would lead you to believe that there is no such thing as rules in marriage either.
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